Find the gift in the experience!

My dear,

Your father really likes "Groundhog Day," the movie.

It has quite a lot of humor in it.  It is that fun bit about seeing the world from different perspectives.

The Bill Murray character starts as an arrogant, negative newspaper man covering Ground Hog Day and living the same day over and over again:  "Life has a way of repeating itself!"

There are some interesting one-liners, but most glaring is his lack of enjoyment in life and his rudeness. What comes first?  That or his self-centeredness?  

There is too much of my own mistakes in him! At first, that kept me from really liking the movie.  Where was the inspiration?

It was all so cynical.  Can you relate to that?  For instance, he doesn't help a person on the street asking for help and ignores them. How many days have I had to "relive" before I figured out that it is in making life more amazing for others that I find great fulfillment!

The great shift comes--for me and for the movie--when he starts making new choices, and the female lead likes him more and more.   

You've seen and felt my mistakes.  I have seen and felt yours.  The inspiration is in how we have helped each other through the mistakes!

Thank you!

I always like the way you pull yourself out of the mood that caused a problem between us.  You come over and apologize.  Your awareness has allowed me to learn not to make it worse.  I give you space.  I gain new patience!

Thank you for the openness that models healthy living! space too and pulling out of Groundhog Day with new responses.

 I did not want to be like Bill Murray, stuck in this one day, going through the same rocky day, unable to get off and keeps reliving it until growing as a person.

I need to attempt to solve the larger problems rather than just wait on it, live with the problem.

Instead, I can look for the gift in the experience and learn the life lesson as soon as possible from the living in each day.

So, see when you catch yourself stuck in the "same day"--acting the same way that doesn't help us or others.

We all need to learn how to live life!

Giving yourself Dignity

You know how I mentioned having dignity in how you act.

Well, someone needs to tell me that too!  And just did!  Her name is Sandra Felton, and she is the author of Winning the Clutter War, known as The Organizer Lady on YouTube.

She said:  

Cleaning your room is actually

treating yourself with dignity.

This wasn't said in a derogatory way.  Usually we need to delve into what we are experiencing to understand it better, and then to act rather than just coast in that behavior.  So far, I agree that I am giving up a lot of who I can be if I just stay where I am and act as I have.

You know how it is when we get tired, hungry, angry, lonely:  we stop treating ourselves, others, or both with a sense of dignity.  The yelling, whining, complaining, criticizing begin.  That is dishonoring.That is messy behavior that needs attention and management.

Our messy behavior with our things, not just our emotions, may have deep roots, as well.

Sandra Felton explains how many are living out painful emotions through negative actions.

She says,

(1)  We could be resisting keeping the house nicer because we want to show anger. A spouse may leave things messy as a weapon in a family conflict.  Or deep in your own heart you are resisting being made to do what you don't want to do. Maybe you are angry about being forced to spend your time doing jobs that you hate.  The rageful dance is very destructive to moving forward in neatness.

(2) It could be leaving stuff around the house, not cleaning up the room as a statement of independence. Or maybe it is the voice of your mother, the neatness checker, echoing from the past. It becomes overwhelming and one wants to ignore it.

It helps to see underlying, hidden motivations that lead to messiness.  Then one can move past them.

One can find joy in having order and peace.