Take control--take the steps!

Whenever, it seems, that I mention I have four children, I get the question of how do I do it.

"How do you get done so much?" is probably the question.

The simple answer is "I am not alone."  I have God's help, my husband's support, and friends and family. Well, that is my answer on a good day.  

As a woman, especially on long, tiring days, I deal with my internal voice which asks the question: "Why can't you get things done?  You fail to execute on those plans you write down on your to-do list!"

One key factor is for getting things done is to:

the emotions!

By controlling my emotions, like the one of despair or frustration, I regain control over my thinking which helps me get things done rather than stewing over how I feel.  

It is a relaxed control rather than frenetic activity.  Simply put, it is the ability to look at the situation, think and reflect on options, and act appropriately.

That is, not just going on knee-jerk reactions, explosive reactions, impulses, and fears.

My husband can be quite good with relaxed control, thinking things out and planning.  Seeing him to it, I've learned how to do it, to some extent!  In fact, this year, I planned the family vacation!

He and I had wanted to go see the U.S.S. Lexington for quite some time in Corpus Christi!  We anticipated seeing aircraft carrier built for the Navy in WWII  was commissioned in 1943, saw action in the Pacific, got remodernized in the 1950s, served as a training carrier for 30 years, and was decommissioned in 1991.  It was an amazing adventure for my three sons who are WWII buffs.

I have been using this technique of controlling my emotion of anger when I hear some snippy remark from my teenage daughter.  She doesn't mind pushing buttons...

 and so I push back by taking control and addressing the deeper issues.  I ask what she is going through.  (Plus, she is REALLY good at apologizing on her own!  I make that easier by not pushing back and staying open to her.)

In the process, I am taking control.

I know appreciate that God is ALWAYS open for us!  He is also the One in control of everything... like helping my friends I visited in Corpus Christi this last July to move back to the Dallas area this March!  He takes control and asks us to move in His Plans... living our vocation brings great joy and growth for ourselves and others (though it isn't as easy as pushing a button!).

Then we won't have regrets!

I had been thinking about how to live Lent this year, ready to get going, thinking of it a month before it arrived!

Why mention that?  Let's put it this way, I was not always ready to meet Lent head-to-head.  It's that Cross stuff, you know!  Suffering and for what?

Well, I've been going through some suffering--emotional and physical--and now I realize that one needs to accept what one cannot change.  To have the courage to change what one can (like someone hunger), serenity to accept the things one cannot (that one gets hunger daily), and wisdom to know the difference.  

During Lent, I can work on serenity and on courage.

I used to really get frustrated in college that Holy Week was during Spring Break.  Why did I have to be in the church full days when others were at the beach?  Alright, didn't I already do this last year?  I remember that He died for me.

Now I know that I DO NOT remember He died for me.  It is a constant gift, at each Mass, giving Himself to God the Father to intercede for us.  He doesn't complain that He did it yesterday and the
day before, just as a woman in love doesn't complain she did a loving kindness yesterday and the day before, so why again today?!

Some show up at church twice a year: Christmas and Easter. That is enough, right?  The rest of the year, they can handle things on their own.  We can handle our lives, right?  We have the serenity and courage on our own, right?  Yes, I do forget that everything we have, even the serenity and courage, come from Him.  He calls us to Himself, not to tolerate us, but to love us profoundly, in the midst of our temptations, dreams, and battles.

Life is a constant battle of choosing the good over the bad, of living just the way I want to and of living the way that will really bring me joy and fulfillment.  Lent helps me find my way back to knowing what is really good, what joy really is.  I find my way back to God.

Back to the Check-in-twice-a-year style:  it acknowledges Christ's Birth and Christ's Death.  Christmas and Easter are such huge days that "Christmas Day" and "Easter Day" actually cover a period of nine days and into Christmastide and Eastertide for about forty more days of reflection on the Birth and the Death of our Redeemer.  

We get ready for those times with time before it.  In the end, we will realize that we were living our Forty-Years-in-the-Desert during our lifetimes, always lead by Him, always getting ready for the time when we will see God face to face!  For He is indeed, the Promised Land!  He leads us in the Eucharist so we may "see" Him this side of Heaven.  The desert is hard... that's true.  Drink often of His Ways to not get parched and lukewarm, dehydrated and in survival mode.  It makes you stronger in dealing with life.

 In the desert, He is the Living Water; we won't complain the times we thought of Him, drank Him in, dwelt on Him, over and over again.  Blessed Lent!

I shut it down!

There was amazing classical music as I grew up...

until my teenage brothers began playing music and drowned it out. 

My mother stopped playing her classical music on the radio.

Now, as I am a mother of two teenagers (and, as of today, being a half birthday for Dymo, let's include a 12 1/2 year old.  Art, I haven't forgotten you, but you are not yet double digits.), the music issue raises its head in my life again.

(OK, I'm back.  My sobbing has settled down.)

The classical music wasn't put on the radio anymore because of the teenage music. I didn't fight for it. I gave it up. I felt hurt by being "overtaken."  I shut the musical part of me.  I didn't fight back and play it on my own.  

How did I find out today that I had done that?

Lately, I have been listening to (been invited to!) the YouTube channel for "The Piano Guys" by Dymo and Art (They go there after homework is done or listen to it while they do homework!).

Some of their songs have 40+ million hits!

And their songs are not even with lyrics.  They play cello and piano usually in amazing on-site, no-green-screen locations, such as the beaches, cliffs, Berlin, snow covered areas, forest-river areas.  

In this, I have found such joy in music!  

I had shut down after many examples of music just appealing to baser instincts.

I have come alive, and it feels amazing!  Thank you, my two older ones, for seeing the good in music and bringing it home to me, helping me past an issue I did not even know I had!

What issue is there that lies hidden in you?  What will make you feel more alive?

We prepare for Christmas now, and He is the One to show us that joy and life... with His witnesses, with His Life, with His Birth, with His Death, with His Resurrection and Acension into Heaven.

Something to sing about!

Begin with the Father, Go in bravery with the Son, Live in boldness with the Holy Spirit!

I mentioned living a Trinitarian life in the last post, promising to unpack what it means to our daily lives!

Well, for starters, turning to God meshes so well with Lent!  Look at the Baptism of Our Lord (following Christ's 40 days in the desert--the First Lent!) to see the Trinity so marvelously present.  He, the Holy Spirit, as a dove, is there above Our Lord, God the Son, with the voice of God the Father proclaiming who Jesus is!

But Jesus said, "It should be done, for we must carry out all that God requires." So John agreed to baptize him.

And Jesus being baptized, forthwith came out of the water: and lo, the heavens were opened to him: and he saw the Spirit of God descending as a dove, and coming upon him. 

And behold a voice from heaven, saying: This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. 

Matt 3:16-17

First, Lent has begun, and you have begun to brainstorm about how to "come back to Me with all your heart; don't let fear keep us apart."  God has that all covered.  In the Trinitarian life, the concept of the Holy Trinity is not just a theological idea; it is the way one can live one's life:

for God the Father,

in Jesus the Son,

through the power of the Holy Spirit!

I grew up with the Sign of the Cross, with the Trinitarian formula in prayers, yet not realizing that it was the key to living each moment for God, with Christ, relying on the inspiration and grace from the Holy Spirit.  That is it in a nutshell.  Simple, but hard to walk into.

Great, that is fine: He helps us be clear about our goal:  Himself! Start with the end in mind.  As I like to tell the children:  "We come from God, and we go to God."

Next, make it happen with bravery, with the confidence that you are called by Him! Jesus is reaching out to YOU.  That will carry you forward!  We do not need to be sin-less.  We need to respond to being loved and offered His assistance.  That is why He is there, to show us the Way.

And, finally, boldness in the Holy Spirit to tackle the obstacles and setbacks one finds in this Wilderness of Lent--go on the journey and reap the benefits for yourself  and others!  There are many inspirations you and I get.  I like to tell Him that I want to listen so He doesn't have to use a 2 X 4 on me--a whisper will suffice to get me moving in the right direction...

Keep me in your prayers!

Let's help each other through this Lenten journey so that our love with be fine tuned, be larger, be more on display, and be more like Christ's by Easter Sunday!

Colors rising out of ashes!

I am about to go wash my face, and the ashes will come off.  Today the lyrics in one song stood out for me:  "The ashes of the good we fail to do."

So, this Lent, I feel compelling to look at the good I can do!

I am aware that my time goes in looking for books and clothing.  That could just be life.  As a homeschooling mother, I do need books!  As I woman, I enjoy mixing and matching outfits, and it is great for my students and husband :)

Plus, a functioning wardrobe helped when I went out with Bridegroom Press Stations of the Cross Masterpiece Art

However, honestly, we have enough, so now I can go to visit friends or take Bridegroom Press on the road, go to exercise, go to Adoration, clean up the garage, walk outdoors, write personal emails, do a journal.  Basics.  Do what needs doing.  Do the good you can do!

It becomes Truth Time!  What are my priorities, and am I willing to put time into my real priorities instead of things that keep me from reaching out of my comfort?

Those ashes on my forehead make me realize it is not about comfort; it is about being present and available.

Thankfully, it can also be about taking small steps, consistently.  It is changing to have that change in place after Lent and beyond.  Today I am not going into the following Him part explanation, but in putting order into my life, I am letting Him in.

It is in my being honest, for instance.

We all have our weaknesses.  Mine is looking at things realistically, honestly.  For instance, I do not allocate enough time for things.  I want to sugarcoat the process and not face that it really does take that much time.

So, in His Mercy, He gives me time.  May I be a good steward of it...

Here is one of the ideas I have to deal with this during Lent.

I have a sheet  with 40 Crosses from Loyola Press to mark down when I do these things in a color-coded way:

...brown for "visiting/inviting friends" is brown for knocking on their door or opening mine!

...blue is for "exercise" since then I breathe in more oxygen.

...red is for Adoration as it shows love.

...black for the garage cleaning since it is a black hole for things when I do not decide and find a place as I put it in there,

...green for walking outdoors amidst trees and grass.

...orange for personal emails to share my passion and bright ideas.

...pink for the journal writing to symbolize soft and vulnerable.

...purple for almsgiving since it is penitential and is a way to treat others as the royal family of God they are!

...yellow for using humor instead of frustration in a noteable way.

...gray is my wild-card--for writing, blogging, emailing, journaling, autobiographing, --passing on what I have learned and keep learning from you all!

You are part of my colors!   

I actually pulled out my color pencil carrier today to have the colors available!

May He help me put order into my life as I put Him into my life more, serving, praying, doing!  That will color things up in a way books and clothes do not!

Colors!  May we light up the world with Him, in HIm, and through Him.

More on living a Trinitarian lifestyle in the next post!

On to a fresh face!

Love God, do good, just do it!

Speak his language!

To speak in someone's language - having their loyalty.

Acts of service

John Chapman, The Five Languages of Love

Daily

Inspire, encourage

We make a choice.  I choose to be faithful, be filled with faith in Him and God working in our relationship.

How do you respond to him?

Figure things out -- take time to think it out

Culture of life  -- it happens because you say "yes" to those things

I am building something of value!

You do not give up!  Do not give up.

Your faith -- it is enough.

A chance to grow in a new direction.

Understand things in a deeper way.

touch his life

capture

land into their lives  -- consistently

emotional

I want that!

You are there for me!

You give me what I need :)

Things then grow exponentially

Trust

Joy

Smiles

the pace of growth

Great things take time to grow

I help by waiting, guiding, suggesting, being good and prudent--wise!

Reese's Type Peanut Butter Bars and Marriage

How are Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars like a marriage?

It is the binding of two distincts to create an amazing union of one!  Isn't that why the sweet concoction has become so famous?  

Our recent anniversary made me think of the binding of husband and wife by God through their commitment to each other.  

It really is all about knowing what you want to make and then get the ingredients you need...  The output one gets is dependent on what one puts in... 

Take a simple recipe for chocolate peanut butter bars (think Reese Peanut Butter Cups).  I was so glad to see it was so easy!  

I did not even get involved in the making of them, and they were so delicious.  My husband gave a recipe to our sons, and they made them while I was out with our daughter.   

Ingredients

1 cup salted butter (melted)
2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 3/4 cup powdered sugar
1 cup peanut butter
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 (11 oz) bag milk chocolate chips

                             Instructions

1. Combine all ingredients, except chocolate chips in a medium sized bowl. Stir until the mixture is smooth and creamy.
2. Pour peanut butter mixture into a 9 x 13 pan.
3. Melt chocolate chips in the microwave (at 50% power) for 1-2 minutes. Stir chocolate and pour over the peanut butter mixture. Spread chocolate with a spatula. To even out chocolate, tap pan on the counter.
4. Refrigerate bars for one hour. Cut while bars are still cool. Enjoy

What are some ingredients of a good marriage?
 

Being attentive!

Good listening skills to reach out to the spouse and good communication skills with self, spouse, family, others, and God, 

sense of humor (since things do not go as smoothly as we would like, and we need to be resilient and creative),

Laugh at it--let things fall into place!

and 

Recipes are so amazing because they are like a road map--they get one to a destination one wants to reach!  You see,  I get turned around quicker than I realize, so maps are always handy for me, Recipes are as well.  (His Word as well ;) )

I have been working this new year adding new recipes for dinner, adding in more personal prayers to abide in Him with joy and trust.

On the food front, I have added casseroles since they are easy to make ahead.  On the Trust-in-Him front, I have added a book on how Mary lived in God's Spirit at every moment.  I marvel that we are all invited to, as well.  She is the easy way to see the way of living it.

I want to plan ahead to sustain happiness and harmony in the marriage and family.   



How often have I not make something wonderful because I did not plan ahead, even though I had the ingredients. I just did not take the time.

No need to let that stop me--it can impel me to get on the track I want to be on!  Discord in my home is like a cake that has fallen, like the two of us on parallel tracks rather than uniting to share our strengths.  

I began this blog because I have grown as a person being married, but I need to consciously do it more so.

It is worth it!  Peace in the home: peanut butter and chocolate!
(Does that mean we are peanut butter and God is chocolate?  Husband is peanut butter, and I am chocolate?)

My problem has been wanting an easy recipe for a happy marriage where good times are easy without much effort.  This blog is my acknowledgement that that isn't how it works.  Ha, ha, I need to get better at mixing in those good ingredients so I get a final result that can be enjoyed not only by myself, but others!

Peace to you and yours!  Which actions have made your marriage work better?  I pray for kindness, thoughtfulness, sweetness in your marriage amidst the tasks of life :)